planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize