Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
