Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
