you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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