Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
