Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
