ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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