Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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