Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
