Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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