Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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