You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
