I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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