My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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