After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize