How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
