He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
