I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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