Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
