is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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