We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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