walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
