haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
