I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize