U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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