I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
