talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
should my penis look like a turkey
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize