you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
