my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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