just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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