He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
