Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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