Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
