your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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