my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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