So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize