Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
