The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
