If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
