hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize