it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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