i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
