Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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