not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
