i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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