I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
