drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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