can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
