i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
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