Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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