big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
