I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
