I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize