it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize