maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
