Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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