Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
