i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
well you can't waste a boner
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
