did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
