New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize