but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
