worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Found the puke drawer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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